The Battle Ends...

The battle has come to an end…an end which was unavoidable one but surely not the desired one. It lasted for past two years. That brave man fought it till his last breath…and ultimately succumbed to death. The battle was against Cancer and the brave man, who eventually lost it, was my Krishna kaka… with him everybody associated with lost something…His wife lost her life partner…his 7 year old daughter and 2 year old son lost their dad and we lost a gem of a person who taught us that giving up was never an option.

In his battle, Cancer took away his immunity, strength, his peace of mind and what not. But one thing which remained intact was his willingness to live. He wanted to live…And in doing so he left no stones unturned...

He will remain in our hearts forever…next time I come across any problem, I am just going to remember one thing…If Krishna kaka fought with death I can surely fight with these trivial ones…Coz, Giving up is never an option…

May Krishna kaka rest in peace and his family get strength to recover from this mighty loss.

Krishna Kaka-II

Some questions never come to your mind and one of those is ‘how does a man embracing death look like?’ Today I got the answer to this question which I never thought of. That person looks like Krishna kaka…Yes the same Krishna kaka about whom I wrote in my blog few months ago.

When Krishna kaka was diagnosed with cancer last year we all knew what was in store. But he decided to fight back. He has fought with this disease with utmost courage. But today he seemed vulnerable. His eyes have lost the shine which used to say a lot about his confidence. He is shifting his base to his native place where his wife is getting some job. He has accepted the fact that he is not going to live longer. In that case, his wife has to take care of household and their two children. This is one of those difficult moments when one has to choose between two equally important options. One option is to shift base to Kudal where his wife can start working. And the other is to stay in Mumbai for better treatment. He has chosen the 1st option which comes at the cost of his life. If he would have decided to stay in Mumbai for his treatment he would have foregone his family’s future financial security provisioning. And by choosing to shift to Kudal he has foregone his chances of living longer.

For the first time I feel like whatever I have learnt so far is so superficial. Having learnt about Game Theory (choosing the best possible option with minimum opportunity cost)in my favorite subject Economics, I always used to think if it applies in real life too…If everything comes with a ‘opportunity cost’(the cost of foregoing other option available). Now looking at Krishna kaka, I feel that the concept of opportunity cost couldn’t have been explained in a harder way than this.

If miracles do happen then I would like to see one in Krishna kaka’s case. But somewhere at the back of my mind I know that God is not going to fulfill this wish of mine…

Krishna Kaka

This blog entry is dedicated to ‘Krishna Kaka’. And you will come to know ‘why’ very soon.

Krishna kaka is known to my family for past 9 years since he started working for a part time job in my dad’s office. Having native place in Konkan, he came to Mumbai in search of a job. Later he got a job of conductor in TMC on contract basis and he started working for part time in my dad’s office. Quite famous for his ever helpful nature he instantly created a place in everybody’s heart in office. Name any kind of work and Krishna Kaka is all set to do it…and that too without complaining. Never say no to anyone and help everyone who ever is in need. It may not be a financial help but when it comes to helping in wedding or pooja related chores or spending night in a hospital when someone is seriously ill, Krishna kaka is there for you. Name any wedding in Malwan and Krishna kaka, in some way or other, is related to bride or groom. Such an affectionate personality he is, who keeps making friends and no foes at all.

**~~**

It was a May afternoon. Krishna kaka came to our house to give some papers to dad. He was not feeling well for some days. Mom asked him about his treatment. He said that his lungs were filled with a fluid. And he had an appointment on the same day with doctor to remove that liquid from his lungs. Mom obviously scolded him for not taking proper rest. Working from morning to evening in dad’s office and then night shift in TMC was taking its toll on him. But he wasn’t very keen on slowing down. Having two children, one 5 year old and one 5 month old, he was not letting himself to fall short of any efforts to give them a good life. Mom n dad advised him to be more careful about health and then he went for his treatment.

**~~**

Almost 15 days later, he got admitted to Bombay hospital. Clearly things were not going well. Doctors said liquid formation in his lungs was because of tuberculosis (TB). That liquid was sent for further tests. And on that worst day we got news that liquid tested positive for Cancer. Krishna kaka was suffering from lung cancer and that too in advanced stage. For a moment my brain stopped working when I first heard this news. Lung cancer?? And that too without any smoking habits?? How is it possible? Can reports go wrong? And so on. Everyone who knew Krishna kaka was shattered to hear this. Doctor suggested rounds of chemotherapy. It wasn’t easy for his family as well. His wife being housewife was in no position to arrange for 2.5 to 3 lakh rupees for his treatment. When dad visited him in hospital he looked quite calm. He just told dad, “I know I am having cancer. But I want to live and I am going try very hard for it.” It was his goodwill which paid off at the time of crisis. His friends and colleagues in office helped generously to collect almost Rs.2.7 lakh for his treatment. While contributing, everyone wished that Krishna should get cured. And the treatment took off.

**~~**

It was my birthday. I got a call. Krishna kaka was on line from hospital. He wished me and gave his blessings. I didn’t know what to say. I just asked him to get well soon and come home so that we can celebrate together. And a thought struck my mind if I will keep getting his wishes and blessing on my next birthdays.

**~~**

A month later, one evening Krishna kaka came home. I was studying something when he came. I met him for the first time since he started his cancer treatment. Two chemoes were over. He was wearing a cap as he lost his hair during treatment. But he was having the same smile on his face which he always used to have before the illness. He was waiting for my dad to return home. And I was wondering what to say and how to say. I never found myself falling short of words while talking to him before. But that day I just couldn’t start. I asked, “How is treatment going on?” He said, “Everything going on well. Its little bit painful on the next day of treatment as chemo creates a lot of heat in the body. But it’s fine. I always knew it was not going to be easy. Doctors are thinking of removing a portion of lung. But with that it will be difficult for me to take up any hectic work. Still I am considering that surgery option if it is going to fetch me few more years of life.” I was awestruck to see how calmly he was telling all these things. He continued, “Initially even I felt sad thinking why me? I never had any bad habits like smoking. Not in my dreams I thought that I would suffer from cancer. Then why did it happen. But then I thought there is no point in thinking over it. All I know, is I have a family to support. They are dependent on me. And I can’t leave them midway in life. If at all I have to leave then it’s only after making proper provisions for them. And for that I need few more years of life. So I have decided…come what may be….I will fight back. I am not going to lose so easily.” I was speechless. He wasn’t taking any confidence boosting class for me. But at that moment I thought forget about those personality building books. Even without reading single book of those kinds, this man knew how to fight back and how to keep his morale high in such a bad time. Life is a harsh teacher and it taught him never to give up. I simply added, “Your goodwill is so strong that it will certainly pay off. People whom you have helped in your entire life will definitely pray to god to cure your illness. Just maintain this trust in God and more importantly trust in yourself. I am no one to tell you all this but today I learnt from you that if one can fight with death one can fight with any adverse thing in life and win it over.”

**~~**

Krishna kaka has now rejoined his part time job. He can’t exert himself much. But he keeps doing work as much as possible. Chemotherapy is stopped now. He is on a tablet course now. Doctors have said that his will power is working in his favor. Doctors from Tata hospital have said that lung surgery is not needed. The medicine course should help in suppressing the growth of cancer tissues.
His wife is taking care of his medicines, dosages. She knows that there is no certainty. But she has stood by his side in his war of life. His younger son is now 1 year old and is very happy to see his father around him more often. His elder daughter doesn’t pester him much with her questions as she knows that her dad needs to take rest when he comes home. Friends and relatives are also quite supportive and happy to see him back to work.

**~~**

In the beginning of this blog entry I said that there is a reason behind this entry. If you happen to read this quite lengthy blog and if you feel the same inspiration as I felt after talking to him then please do me a favor. Please pray for his longer life once. By good wishes, blessings, prayers if he can live longer then it will be of great help to him and me as well. Thanks.