A Month Ago: I like him. Not so long did I realize this. After a lot of thinking I finally came to know that I like him. Do I love him? Not yet sure. But he has got all those qualities which make me say it aloud that “Yes…He is the one.” And does he know about this? No. Not yet. Let me be very very sure about my own feelings then only I’ll let him know. Boy this is so amazing!!! It’s like a dream.
It was just few days back when we met last. I could sense what he was trying to tell. I was listening to those unspoken words. The other day I saw his eyes searching for someone. I bet that ‘someone’ was me. How sweet! And the very next day he called…due to some work. But still…The point is: ‘he called’. These and many other actions of his have formed his picture perfect image in my mind. But then I have a friend who is not fond of him. She keeps on saying ill things about him. And I feel how wrong she is. Because I am damn sure the he can’t be wrong. I feel she just don’t want to change her opinion about him. I hope she will understand him one day. That day she will come to know why I like him so much.
Right Now:
Think rationally. What was going on in my mind when I was taking out those convenient meanings from his behavior? Why didn’t I take pain to see his other side? Or I never wanted to see it? Yes. It’s harsh but true. In last few days I saw him as an entirely different person. Not the one, who fits in my ‘picture perfect image’. Last time we met, he simply looked through me. Am I non existent for him? And I recollected some more instances when same thing happened. Now I am applying logic to whatever has happened in last whole year. And it makes sense. He always had this other side which I completely overlooked. There are different facets hidden in this side. Some might be good some might be bad. Point is I just couldn’t realize that there can be another face too.
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This happens. And there is nothing wrong in it. We are all rational human beings who have the ability to think wisely. But sometimes which chose to think in a manner which we want to. It can be as illogical as possible. And it’s not a crime as long it doesn’t hurt anyone mentally or physically. It shouldn’t hurt us too for that matter. We can commit a mistake in reading a person. I know it sounds cliché but there is a difference between knowing a person and understanding a person. To know a person, exposure to a single face is enough. But to understand a person you need to know every possible face of his/her. And that’s the most difficult thing. Human is the most complex creation of the God. And to read this complex creation is almost an impossible task. Still we can give a try. We may never get to see every face of a person. But we can surely see different faces of different people.
This concept of two faces applies to us also. Every person has some qualities which are known to him and some qualities which are known to others. There is this famous concept of Johari Window. Here we have a window with two axes viz. ‘Known to self’ and ‘known to others’ on which our behavior is plotted. This window is divided into 4 quadrants starting from top left and going anticlockwise: Arena, Hidden, Dark Area and Blind Spots.
Arena: known to self and known to others
Hidden: known to self and not known to others
Dark Area: not known to self and not known to others
Blind spot: not known to self but known to others
One should try to maximize arena by minimizing other three areas. If we can relate it with whatever has been written above, we can say that larger the Arena less will be the number of faces. Or should I say more subtle will be the other faces. You may say in the context given above how can this Johari window help us to understand a person we want to get along with? Obviously one can’t make other person fill questionnaires to understand that person. But by playing with such tools, we ourselves can understand different facets of human mind. And we can get some insight of working of human mind. Who knows? It may just help while forming judgments about other person.
