Sunday evening. And I’m here in front of my pc. Many subjects popping up in my mind. And I’m confused, which one I should pick? Took a nap in the afternoon (Sunday afternoon has to be like that…heavy n full of calories ). And woke up with this confusion. I think I’ll start writing & will write as much as I can. Still have 2-3 hrs in my hand before my brother takes control of my pc…
My last blog was regarding ‘love’. Had an interesting reply session with a friend. Said interesting because I came to know some different perspectives on one sided love, commitment etc. I would like to comment on later one.
The question my friend asked was something like: If you love XYZ & you feel XYZ is the most suitable person for you to spend your entire life with. But this is in your circle of influence. In walk of life if you come across ABC & ABC is more suitable for you than XYZ then what to do? Should you stick to your earlier decision and continue your relationship with XYZ, no matter how better ABC is for you? Or you should simply move ahead with ABC? Confused??? Same here.
My take on it: I assume people give enough time to each other before saying they are in love with each other. & whatever I am about to say is based on this assumption. In this ‘enough time’ both of them have to think independently on different issues related to their future relationship. Issues like compatibility, comfort level, maturity, responsibility of their own decisions, things which are common between them, things which are different between them, their ability to face problems etc. I am not saying that one has to prepare an excel sheet and do a gap analysis. But assuming that two people in love want to spend their entire life with each other, this much amount of thinking is required, I guess. Our culture and upbringing play vital roles in this decision making. Look at the western countries. Their family bonding, emotional securities are way different as compared to ours. Divorce rate of USA is almost 50 % as compared to 1.1 % in India. I’m not saying that people in America are wrong because they part their ways very often. Their individuality amongst the society allows them to do so. In India, scene is quite different. We are very much answerable to our family, our relatives, and friends. That puts an additional pressure. Very few people try to think differently in spite of these pressures. I think, taking a decision of committing to a person and then sticking to it throughout your life , is mostly associated with these cultural values and social tie-ups.
(Assuming that love results in marriage) Look at the successful love marriages around us. The question mentioned above might have come to their minds also. Many of them might have come across ABC. But still most of them are continuing with their respective XYZ s. Why? May be, with their decision of spending life with each other, their search for better would have stopped. A person searches for better options if he is not happy & satisfied with his available options. I don’t want to call love as option. But the same applies to love. If you love XYZ and you have made your decision of spending your life with him/her that means your search has come to an end. You have got whatever you were expecting from your love. Now if you come across ABC and you think he/she is more suitable to you then that simply means you are not satisfied with your present relationship. And if there is a scope for the search of better then you should have identified it in that ‘enough time’ and shouldn’t have committed to XYZ. Again there are exceptions. If things are going wrong then one should rethink about the relation. But everything is fine and still you are looking for better option then boss you are not taking responsibility of your decisions. Wake up!
I think I have got the answer of the above mentioned question. But not sure if I presented it in right manner or not. Again it’s easy to think than to implement.
No comments:
Post a Comment